Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm too high and old for this...
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