and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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