Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Mom said you looked used
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
