I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
