he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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