I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
