I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
