He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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