I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm always down for nudity.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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