its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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