she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
