He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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