After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
