You work out of a Hotel?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
