No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
