are you still at the devil's house?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
