It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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