I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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