I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize