so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize