She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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