Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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