it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
