Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
