You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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