they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
