Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
