in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
