Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
