So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Quick, to the slutcave!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
