ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
