are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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