just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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