I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza†btw
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