At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
