i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize