i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
