I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
