just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
