ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize