So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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