am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So much rum. So many feels.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
