no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
