dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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