my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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