But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize