Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
