im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
