ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My vagina is officially offended.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
