can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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