he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
