my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
