considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So many bounce houses so little time
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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