how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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