thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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