I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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