I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Found your dick twin last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
